SO, WHAT DO CANADIANS HAVE TO BE PROUD OF?

Best memorized and recalled while watching sports activities.

(Scholars and students of Canadian history should be wary of the information presented below. Some exaggeration and minor errors may be present. It is shown for entertainment only. We are still working on the actual speed that a dog team will devour a human being Volunteers are invited to participate in this study.)

  1. Smarties.
  2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp.
  3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down.
  4. Baseball is Canadian.
  5. Lacrosse is Canadian.
  6. Hockey is Canadian.
  7. Basketball is Canadian.
  8. Apple pie is Canadian.
  9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' butt.
  10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts' butt.
  11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of. Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied
  12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
  13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
  14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
  15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
  16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
  17. The Hudson's Bay Company once owned 2.4% of the earth's surface and is one of the world's oldest
    companies.
  18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
  19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
  20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
  21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
  22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
  23. A Canadian invented Superman.
  24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.
  25. It has been reported that the best Canadian Brewery in the world is in Monroe Wisconsin, USA, the Minhas Brewery . Research is continuing on this contentious issue.